Life is a beautiful mess

The last month I’ve been thinking a lot about life’s purpose and how we can find happiness here as well as eternal happiness. Life has been so good but that doesn’t mean it’s perfect. The last month there’s been lots of ups and downs that I’ve experienced as I’m sure you have as well.
On Monday, my dear aunt Melanie passed away after battling cancer for over 20 years. She will forever be one of my role models and who I hope to be like. She always had a smile on her face and was always seeking a way to make someone else happy. She never complained about what she was going through. I remember she would talk about her mission a lot and one day we talked all day about her mission which really inspired me to consider serving. Melanie was always one to love and serve and I, and so many others, will miss her so much.
This sparked my thinking about life and what I can do to make the most of my life while here. I want to cherish every moment I have and enjoy every relationship created while on earth. Last night, my boyfriend and I were watching the TV show This Is Us and one of the characters had a beautiful take on life. He said it so well, I’m going to just copy what he wrote here for you to read. He said,
I painted this because I felt like the play was about life, you know, and life is full of color and we each get to come along and we add our own color to the painting, you know? And even though it's not very big - - the painting - - you sort of have to figure that it goes on forever, you know, in each direction? So, like, to infinity, you know. 'Cause that's kinda like life. It's really crazy, if you think about it, that a hundred years ago some guy that I never met came to this country with a suitcase. He has a son, who has a son, who has me. So at first when I was painting I was thinking, you know, maybe that was that guy's part of the painting and then down here that's my part of the painting. And then I started to think... well... what if we're all in the painting... everywhere? And what if we're in the painting before we're born? What if we're in it after we die? And these colors that we keep adding, they just keep getting added on top of one another, 'til eventually we're not even different colors anymore. We're just... one thing. One painting. My dad, he's not with us anymore. He's not alive... but he's with us. He's with me every day. It all just sort of fits somehow, even if you don't understand how yet. People will die in our lives - - people that we love. In the future. Maybe tomorrow. Maybe years from now. I mean, it's kind of beautiful, right, if you think about it, the fact that just because someone dies, just because you can't see them or talk to them anymore, it doesn't mean they're not still in the painting. I think maybe that's the point of the whole thing. There's no dying. There's no 'You' or 'Me' or 'Them.' It's just 'Us.' And this sloppy, wild, colorful, magical thing that has no beginning, has no end, it's right here. I think it's us. 

*this is the painting he is referring to*


When I heard this character speak those words I thought to myself that was honestly one of the most beautiful things I’d ever heard. “Just because you can’t see them or talk to them anymore, it doesn’t mean they’re not still in the paining.” 
Our life is made up of so many individual brushstrokes created by interactions with others. And their presence and impact on us is eternal. We, too, make brushstrokes on others’ paintings and we have the possibility to be a part of someone else’s life forever. Life is this beautiful mess that we all help each other through and it ends up being a masterpiece. 
Life is a gift and I’m grateful for the chance I have to live it and to create my masterpiece. 

Jesus Christ is REAL

It has been a very long time since I have blogged, but today I felt the immense need to share. Recently I have learned on a very personal and intimate level what Jesus Christ does for us. I've learned that He is a part of our daily lives, even when we don't realize it or don't feel worthy of it or even if we aren't even looking for it.
Jesus Christ performed the Atonement to know how we personally feel in our mortal experience. His Atonement has two effects- it cleanses us but it also enables us. What I've learned the last little bit is how the gift He gave to us lifts us and gives us strength to make it through life because He REALLY does know how we feel. He experienced it all Himself.
A quote that I first heard in young women's has stuck with me over the years and it says "I never said it would be easy, I only said it will be worth it". Life is HARD. Life isn't fair. And there are times I just want to pack up and go home and live with my parents for the rest of my life. No matter how hard life gets, though, I couldn't imagine how much harder life would be without Christ who knows what I feel and understands me perfectly.
Even though life is hard at times, life is wonderful. There are so many things to be grateful for. I'm grateful for a Savior who carries me through the hard times and rejoices with me during the good times.
He suffered so He could feel every heart ache, every sorrow, every doubt we would feel here on Earth. He put aside His will so He could help us out. I know He is there to help us because He has helped me in a way that only the Savior of the world could. He knows me and knows what I need just like He knows you and what you need. He will give you the perfect help you need.

Two quotes I want to share that have helped me find comfort:
"The Savior gave his life so you can completely overcome the challenges you face." - Elder Richard G. Scott
"To any who may be struggling to see that light and find hope, I say: Hold on. Keep trying. God loves you. Things will improve." - Elder Jeffery R. Holland

A stake president from my mission said that faith is knowing that God has the power to do something and hope is knowing that God will use that power to do something for you. Hold on to hope. He is aware and He will run to you. Don't give up.
I love Jesus Christ and strive to be like him. I know He is our Savior and can and WILL help us when we need Him. He is always there. "I have graven thee upon the palms of my hands" (1 Nephi 21:16)
He lives. He is a living being with a body of flesh and bones. He is perfect and because He is perfect, He always shows us perfect love.

Tender Mercies

One of the biggest things I learned on my mission was how aware God is of us and how involved He is in our lives. In 1 Nephi 1:20 it says,

But behold, I, Nephi, will show unto you that the tender mercies of the Lord are over all those whom he hath chosen, because of their faith, to make them mighty even unto the power of deliverance.

The term "tender mercy" was a major theme of my mission. Every experience I had was a tender mercy that showed me that He knows each of His children. Something I have learned since coming home though, was the truthfulness of the last phrase in this verse..."to make them mighty even unto the power of deliverance". 

Heavenly Father gives us these tender mercies, these individual gifts, to remind us of How much he loves us. For me, these tender mercies draw me closer to Him in gratitude and love. And I feel Him near me. And because of that, I am able to escape the powers of the adversary as He tries to pull me down. 

Satan is seeking for us to be miserable because he is miserable. Thank goodness the Lord created a plan for us to find ultimate and eternal happiness. And He will never leave us alone. Like I've mentioned previously, I've felt alone a lot since coming home on my mission but I've seen so many tender mercies that have reminded me that I am loved and definitely not alone. 

The smallest things show me His love. Running into an old friend on campus, getting a sweet text from a family member, finding something in the scriptures that means a lot to us... The Lord shows His love in so many different ways. 

I've noticed as I look for His love, I always find it. It is always there. Tender mercies happen all the time. The Lord is constantly pouring down blessings upon us. 

You are not forgotten

This past Sunday, I was able to attend the homecoming of the visitors center directors from my mission. Elder and Sister Toronto are amazing people and have helped me so much to become the person I am. I am so grateful I was able to serve with them and learn from their example.
Previous to this, though, I had really been struggling. I have been having a hard time trying to adjust back and get in the swing of things with school and work and trying to balance everything. I felt like I was ready to quit and give up. I truly felt like I was forgotten.
It was a tradition to have all the sisters sing at the visitors center, so at the homecoming on Sunday, all the sister missionaries from the Missouri Independence mission were called up to sing a musical number. I had lost my voice due to a cold I had caught, so I stood in the back and lip sang and tried to make sure no one could see me.
In attendance at the sacrament meeting was Sister Elaine S. Dalton, previous general Relief Society president. After the meeting, she talked to all of us sisters and thanked us for our music and spirit we brought into the room. Again, I was standing on the outskirts, feeling like I wasn't important.
Then, Sister Dalton came up to me, grabbed my shoulders and said "YOU are a strong and special spirit. I knew where you were standing up there during that song because I felt you. Thank you."
I was overcome with emotion and gratitude and I couldn't keep the tears from swelling in my eyes. I knew that God had answered my many prayers. When Sister Dalton said this, in my heart, I felt the words "I know where you are because I feel you." I knew that was my loving Heavenly Father giving me the assurance that He knows me and that He hasn't forgotten me. He has never left my side and never will leave my side.
I know in each of our lives, there are times where we feel like we are hiding...where we feel like we are in the back for no one to see. But I know that no matter where we are, Heavenly Father sees us where we are now and sees our potential for who we can become. He is aware of us at each moment of every day. I am so grateful for His never failing love. We are His children and He has promised to us help and strength and I know He will give that to us. He always keeps His promises.
1 Nephi 21:16 "Behold, I have graven thee upon the palms of my hands; thy walls are continually before me."

Lean not unto thine own understanding

Happy Sunday! Sundays are my favorite day because I get to go to church and partake of the sacrament and reflect on my week and how I can improve. I'm grateful for the Sabbath day because I can really ponder on what Heavenly Father is teaching me. It means a lot to me because the whole week is crazy full of school and work and trying to have a social life...but Sunday I get to take a time out and focus on me and the Lord.
Today, I have been taught a very important lesson that I wanted to share. Being a recently returned missionary and being thrown right into "normal" life hasn't been the easiest thing. It's been a struggle trying to figure out where I fit in and what I'm supposed to be doing.
One of my roommates gave a talk at church today (shoutout to Klarissa), and she talked about Proverbs 3:5 which says "lean not unto thine own understanding". Everything clicked and the spirit taught me a lot. I've been trying so hard to plan everything I'm supposed to become and do, instead of trusting in what the Lord has in store for me. He has a plan for me with experiences that will teach me what to do.
I realized I CAN'T lean on my own understanding because I don't understand the big picture. None of us do. But Heavenly Father sees it all and He knows how it will all work out. And I find great comfort in that. I'm grateful for His plan and love for us as His children, that He would care about us each individually to create a plan for our happiness.
I know we can all lean on His understanding because His understanding is perfect. He knows and if we trust Him, everything will all work out.

God's timing

I just wanted to bear testimony that God's timing is perfect. He knows us better than we know ourselves and He knows what is best for us. Though it may change your entire life and flip everything upside down, He knows what is best. I know that He cares for and loves us and He will do everything possible to make sure we know that.
I know this because of the experiences He has sent me that has made me stronger and closer to Him. I put my faith in Him and listen to what He has to say and trust that what He asks me to do is best for me. I know He will never lead us astray. If we follow Him, we can only grow closer to Him.
It might be hard to completely trust Him and to follow His will, but I promise that it is what He has planned for us. He knows everything and will unveil His will for us piece by piece.
And He will answer your prayers. I promise, He always does....according to His time. It might be hard, and I know I have found myself impatient, but His time is always the best time.

Helaman 5:12 is a wonderful scripture and reading it again this morning, the end stood out to me. It says "a foundation whereon if men build they cannot fall". I LOVE that. If we build our testimony on Jesus Christ then we CANNOT fall. It doesn't say we may not fall or we might not fall, but we cannot fall. That is a PROMISE. And what a wonderful promise that is. That if we build upon Christ, nothing can make us fall. We will be safe.
God is good.

He is the answer

When going through hard times in our lives, the answer is so simple that it is often so overlooked.

The only place where we can find everlasting peace and joy is through Christ. He is the living water and can fill our souls with peace and love and comfort.
My first few months at college have been a roller coaster for me. I have made some of my greatest memories here, but I have experienced the lowest of times as well. It's part of life and it has made me spiritually stronger, though. These past couple weeks especially have been hard on me. The beginning of a new semester is always crazy, trying to figure out your new schedule, plus a new work schedule and a heavier class load. On my way returning to Provo, I made a trip to Pocatello with my family to see my great-grandma who was slowly passing away to say goodbye. Emotionally, I was drained, but grateful to see her. She is still here, but I constantly think of her throughout my day. I've also been having some cheer withdrawls, ending up with me crying to my roommate, re-living my cheer career. On top of that, I received the news this past Sunday that my great-grandpa had passed away. This news wasn't a surprise, because we knew it was coming, but to hear about it and not have family around me was hard. I wanted so badly to be home to be with my family at that time but I knew that wasn't possible so I had to figure out what to do on my own. I know it was a good thing because he was in so much pain here, and he is now reunited with my Grammy Faith, but it's still sad. And not being able to have my family's loving arms around me wasn't making it any easier. I knew I couldn't take any more and that the only way to get through this was turning to Christ. I knelt down to pray and poured out my heart to Him. I knew that these things wouldn't be taken away from me, but I would be given the strength to get through it. I am so grateful to always have that source of peace and comfort in my life and I know that He cares about us.
"When life gets too hard to stand, kneel." Turning to Christ in our times of trouble, not only shows our humility in accepting that we need His help, but it shows our love and devotion for Him. He is anxiously awaiting to help us and He always is, we just have to notice it and communicate with Him.
I understand that in some people's lives, they believe it is easier to turn away from Christ instead of turning to Him. I promise that is never easier. Christ is the answer. He is the way. I personally have experienced of His love and the miracles He can perform in our lives.

"I Have Overcome the World"

"O Lord, my heart is exceedingly sorrowful; wilt thou comfort my soul in Christ. O Lord, wilt thou grant unto me that I may have strength, that I may suffer with patience these afflictions.." (Alma 31:31)
I read this tonight in my Book of Mormon reading and I paused and read it again and again. "...wilt thou comfort my soul in Christ"... This scripture has a cross reference to John 16:33 saying "These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation; but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world." This message is beautiful! Christ lived a hard life suffering more pain, sorrow, sadness, hardships than any of us could imagine. And yet, He instills hope in us by saying 'I have overcome the world'.
This world is full of things to bring us down and we will experience these dark times in our lives, but He has provided a way to find the joy in life and that is that if we live righteously, we will be able to feel His peace and eventually return to live with Him again. Just like Christ, we are going to experience tribulation, but also, just like Christ, we will be able to overcome this world.
He provides us strength when we need it. The past couple of weeks I have been praying a lot to receive that strength from Him to keep moving on and I promise He follows through. I have been lifted up by Him and carried throughout some hard times and I know it's because of Him. I know that I could not go through these times without the knowledge that I have from this gospel. I simply wouldn't be able to do it.
I testify that Christ lives and loves each and every one of us and He is anxiously awaiting to bless us in our lives. He is in everything and if we take the time to find Him, we will see that everything is because of Him. Throughout the darkest of times in my life is when I have been closest with Him and have felt His love literally wrapped around me. I know that He died for us all to be able to live again and to be able to say 'I have overcome the world'.

Silent Night

It's my favorite time of year again! Christmas! This year is a little different for me because I haven't been home throughout the month and it's been weird not being a part of my family's traditions. Every night in December my family reads a Christmas story before we go to bed and we do the Elf on the Shelf for my little sister and not to mention missing decorating the Christmas tree...not being able to be there for these things has made this Christmas season very different. But it's a part of growing up, right?
I wanted to focus on the hymn Silent Night in this post. Every time we sing this song in church I can't help but cry because of the peace and love that I feel. This song is the perfect description of our Savior Jesus Christ. The night he was born, "all is calm". He brought peace to the world the day He was born and He continues to bring peace into our world today. He is the light in the world, much like the star that led many to see Him the night of his birth. If we follow His light, we will find ourselves next to Him wrapped in His loving arms. This is a Christmas song that gets sung a lot and I just want to post the lyrics and invite you to ponder them and what they truly mean and focus on how you feel.

Silent night, Holy night

All is calm, all is bright
Round yon virgin, mother and child
Holy infant, tender and mild
Sleep in heavenly peace,
Sleep in heavenly peace.
Son of God, love's pure light
Radiant beams from thy holy face
With the dawn of redeeming grace,
Jesus, Lord at thy birth
Jesus, Lord at thy birth.
Shepherds quake, at the sight
Glories stream from heaven above
Heavenly, hosts sing Hallelujah.
Christ the Savior is born,
Christ the Savior is born.

Silent night, Holy night

Silent night, Holy night

I know that our Savior lives and that He was sent here as a gift from our Heavenly Father to save every single one of us. "For unto YOU a Savior is born"...He was born for you personally. He is the gift. I know I have been caught up in school and life these past couple of weeks with finals and the semester ending and I have been slacking on the basics of prayer and scripture reading, but as I have been thinking about the miracle of the Christmas story I am filled with the Spirit and I remember why we celebrate this time of year. I am so grateful for a loving Heavenly Father to send His son to earth for each and every one of us. And I am grateful the Savior was so obedient to His Father's will to accept what He had to do. 

It truly is the most wonderful time of the year. I find myself a little happier, serving more, and easier to love those around me around this time of year. I try to be this way all the time, but it's hard not to be my best self around Christmas when I am so focused on Christ. Try to live in the spirit of Christmas all year round. The Christmas spirit is the Christ spirit. And remember Christmas starts with Christ.

May all of you have a joyful, Christ centered, peaceful Christmas. 

"As we seek Christ, as we find Him, as we follow Him, we shall have the Christmas spirit. Not for one fleeting day each year, but as a companion always." -Thomas S. Monson

We Can Defeat Satan

Earlier this week I had the amazing opportunity to go to UVU and listen to Elizabeth Smart speak about her story. I know I have talked about her before on my blog, but I just gotta say how much I love that lady. She is truly amazing and what she did is amazing. Her faith and devotion is inspiring and she is one of my idols.
While telling her story, she told us that after she was found, her mother gave her the best advice she had ever been given before. Her mother told her that these people had taken 9 months of her life away that she will never get back and "the best punishment you can give him is to be happy". She understood that by re-living the 9 months over and over and constantly worrying and thinking about it is still giving her captors time of her life she will never get back.
This advice is so applicable in everybody's lives, not just for her situation. Satan is in our world and he is trying to get us to follow him. And sometimes we do, because we are not perfect. But we cannot let that stop us from progressing. We have to move on. And just like for Elizabeth Smart's captors, the best punishment we can give Satan is being happy.
Satan wants anything but happiness for us. So when he sees that we are happy and moved on from past mistakes, it kills him. This is a strength for us to defeat him. We will mess up. It's part of life. But the Atonement allows us to repent and move on. And when we repent we have the spirit with us, so naturally we will become happier.
It is most likely that everyone isn't going to have the same experience as Elizabeth Smart, but we all have our struggles and battles and problems and trials. We all feel like we can't move on. We all feel like we want to give up at times. But I promise you that those words are coming from the devil. Our Heavenly Father believes in us and He knows what potential we have. He has provided us a way to find the ultimate happiness in life!
We are in a constant battle against Satan. But we have the resources to defeat him. In the end, we will win! Show him how happy we are in our life.
I know this says 'woman', but this applies to everyone! We don't want Satan to have power over us!

The Atonement Was Made For YOU

Hello! It has been so long! I get caught up in homework and work and I just realized how long it's been since I last blogged!
I just wanted to share some recent thoughts of mine. I have been thinking a lot about the Atonement of Jesus Christ. I have learned so much about the Atonement and how it applies to our lives more here in the past few months than I have my whole life. I have always known what the Atonement was and that it was the greatest debt to ever be paid. But I have learned about what this great sacrifice means on a personal level. "It is not enough to simply know about the Atonement...it must become personal." (Bonnie Oscarson) We had a Relief Society activity and a speaker came to talk to us. He talked about the worth and value of items. When we purchase an item, we are willing to give up money for that item because we want it. Then he held up his wedding ring and said that ring is priceless because it wasn't only a ring, but it was his family and his marriage. He said he would give up his life for his family. The value of us to Christ is priceless. He loves us and cherishes us so much that He did give up His life for us. We are his younger brothers and sisters and He knew what had to be done to save us, and He was willing to pay that for us. He would have paid that price even if it was just for you. He loves each and every one of us that much. "Our Savior has taken upon himself our pains and our suffering and afflictions so that He can know what we feel and how to comfort us." (Linda S. Reeves)
I have gone through many ups and downs in my life and every time I reach out to Christ I can feel Him draw close to me. He has felt everything we have gone through. I don't know how, but He has. And He has felt it for every person who has lived and who will live. Studying the Book of Mormon has strengthened my testimony of this. The prophets testify that there will be a Christ to come and He will save the world. The cool thing is that even though Christ wasn't born, the Atonement still applied to all of those who lived before He was even born!
Since it is Christmas season, it is easier to think more about Christ in our lives. We would be nothing without Him. Literally nothing. Our Heavenly Father sent His Only Begotten Son to the world as a gift to us, which we celebrate this time of year. This gift is so important because without Christ coming to the earth, He wouldn't have been able to perform the Atonement and we would be stuck without progression.
I remember a fireside our ward held when I was a beehive. I remember hearing about it and thinking it was silly, but it was so powerful and it has stuck with me over the years. All the youth in our ward was gathered and a young man was chosen for the special task that was to take place. The bishopric brought out donuts they had bought for all the youth. They told us in order to take a donut, the young man had to do 10 push ups. So, the bishopric went around one by one asking who wanted donuts. Obviously, everyone wanted a donut, so the young man did 10 push ups for every person who took a donut. It all changed when someone said they didn't want a donut. The young man was still required to do the 10 push ups for that person. From then on, there were a few more who didn't want donuts yet the young man still performed the push ups. By the end, he had totaled somewhere around 300 push ups and was exhausted. The point of this was to show us about the sacrifice of the Atonement. The Atonement covers everyone. And when I say everyone I mean EVERYONE. Even those who don't partake of it. When we crossed the veil, everyone forgot what went on in the pre-mortal life, and some unfortunately forgot that they chose God's plan to come to earth. There are people who don't even know what the Atonement is and the miracles it can perform in their life! There are some people who just choose not to use the Atonement for whatever reason. Christ suffered for these people too, because He loves them just as much as He loves every other person.

You are never alone

I have learned something so important since coming to college. I will tell you, that I have never felt more alone than I have here. Being surrounded by strangers is something I'm not used to. Back home I would know someone everywhere I went. Now, I walk around and look at everyone around me and I am surrounded by people that I have no idea who they are. I also don't have my family here with me, which is so hard for me. My three siblings are my best friends. My family is the most important and special thing to me! It was so hard leaving them.

But then I thought about how everyone else around here is feeling. A lot of people probably feel the same way-alone. Everyone has sacrificed their old friends from home and leaving their family to be here. And then I thought about something else. I'm not alone. I'm never alone. NONE of us are EVER alone. Heavenly Father is always with us. Whether we notice it or not, He is always there. He is working miracles for us and guiding us on our path. 

I don't have my dad here with me anymore. I used to be able to walk down the stairs in my house just to give my dad a hug and talk to him, but now the closest thing I have is being able to call him. This has been a hard transition, but it has increased my relationship with my Father in Heaven. Instead of walking to give my dad a hug, I can kneel and cry to Heavenly Father. He always has His arm stretched out to give me a hug of comfort and love and peace when I need it. He is also there to laugh with me and rejoice with me. 

It took me realizing how prideful I was and not recognizing the Lord's hand in my life. Through humbling myself, I know that we are never left alone. He is in every aspect of our lives.
"Because Jesus walked such a long, lonely path utterly alone, we don't have to..." -Elder Holland

Also, I want to say that He answers our prayers. Always. It may be hard and the answer may not come in the way you want, but He will always answer your prayers. Be faithful and live worthily of the Spirit and you will feel the influence of the Savior.

Prince of Peace

This past weekend was my favorite weekend of the year, LDS General Conference! All of the sessions were so great, and it was amazing to hear talks given in native languages for the first time! The gospel is the same, the message is the same, the spirit is the same, no matter what language. I also had the opportunity to attend conference live for my first time! I attended the Sunday morning session, which was so great. The general authorities have such strong spirits they can simply be felt by being in the same room as them.
I want to talk today about my favorite talk given in conference. It was given by Elder Richard G. Scott in the Sunday afternoon session. His talk is entitled "Make the Exercise of Faith Your First Priority".
My favorite title of Christ is that He is the Prince of Peace. I have a personal testimony of this title because I have cried to Him in prayer and every time I am encompassed with His love and I find peace in my life through Him.
Elder Scott talks about our trials and how we can use the Atonement to find peace through these hard times. The four tools he talked about to find this peace are four things that those of us who have grown up in the church have been taught since we were in primary. But, his conviction and emotion when speaking about these topics changed these simple things for me.
The first one is prayer. He said "CHOOSE to converse with your Father in Heaven often...as you exercise this agency and include Him in EVERY aspect of your life, your heart will begin to fill with peace."
The next is scripture study. Throughout high school, I (regrettably) often made the excuse that I had too much studying to do to read the scriptures. I would often just read a few verses really quick and then get back to studying. This was even happening to me the first couple weeks here at BYU. But, my Book of Mormon class has really helped me with this because studying scriptures now has become homework. Elder Scott said that studying scriptures is even more important than sleep and school. He promises that peace does not come from the outside world, but by reading scriptures we will feel His peace.
The third is family home evening. Here at BYU, we are put into FHE groups in our ward and hold family home evening every Monday night. Some nights it's really hard because I just need to study, but just as Sister Linda S. Reeves testifies, family home evening takes away stress.
The last is temple attendance. This is the section that I felt most influenced by the spirit. Coming to BYU in the summer, I came with the goal to go to the temple every week, but unfortunately that goal only lasted about 2 weeks. The temple is the most peaceful place on this earth. Elder Scott said, "The temple is one of the best places to come to understand the power of the Atonement of Jesus Christ...Seek Him there." After hearing this, I rededicated myself to going to the temple every week. I went yesterday, restarting this goal, and Satan has already tried to get me to slip up on this goal of mine. I woke up at 5 AM to go before classes. My alarm went off and I woke up, but then laid my head down for just a couple more minutes. I kept thinking 'I'm so tired, maybe I'll go later'...and then I sat up and literally said, "NO!" I knew Satan was telling me that I was too tired to go to the temple. Though I hadn't gotten much sleep, I got dressed and walked to the temple at 5:30 AM. The whole time, I was thinking of the line in Praise to the Man that says "sacrifice brings forth the blessings of heaven". I knew that I would be blessed by sacrificing a couple more hours of sleep. I promise the temple brings so much peace and the blessings we receive are so great.
My favorite line in this talk was "Challenges help make us more like our Father in Heaven, and the Atonement of Jesus Christ makes it possible to endure these challenges." That thought is amazing to me. Our trials we go through are making us more like our perfect Father and more worthy to be able to stand in front of Him again one day. Instead of focusing on the negative in our trials, which is much easier said than done, we can realized how blessed we are through these hard times. He is giving us the opportunity to be perfected like Him. Elder Uchtdorf reminds us, "He is not waiting to love you after you have overcome your weaknesses and bad habits. He loves you today with a full understanding of your struggles."
Remember, peace does not come through this world, but only through applying the Atonement of Jesus Christ into your life. Pray for peace. Study the scriptures. Make family home evening a habit. Attend the temple. Peace will flow into your hearts.

YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL

I wanted to share my favorite message from my favorite man today. And though this talk is titled 'To Young Women', I suggest boys watch this too, because I know not only girls struggle with self confidence. This message is so important especially in our world today. 

Imagine you are an artist, and you are painting a picture for a close friend or family member-someone you love so much. When you finish the painting, you look at it and you are so proud of what you have created and you think it is the most beautiful thing. You give it to this person you care so much about and when they receive it, all they do is point out the many flaws in the painting. You feel so upset because you worked so hard and you knew you had created a masterpiece. This is how Heavenly Father feels when we critique ourselves and point out our flaws. He created you beautifully and in the image of himself. He wants us to see ourselves as the marvelous masterpiece we are. He created you and He doesn't make mistakes.
We are all beautiful literal children of our Heavenly Father. We need to never forget that. And more importantly, as Elder Holland says, we should not compare ourselves or want to look more like someone else. Comparison is the thief of joy. "When you let people's opinions make you self conscious you give away your power." YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL. Don't let anyone make you think otherwise.
Spread this message. Our world today needs to be reminded of this. It is so important. Make everyone feel beautiful!

He is ALWAYS there

It's been a while...
With the new "share goodness" theme going around on social media, I have been thinking about something I want to share to share a little bit of goodness.
The past several weeks I have really opened my eyes to seeing the Lord in my life. My testimony has strengthened in this aspect so much.
Being away from home, I am far away from my family, which has made me rely more on my Heavenly Father than I have ever had to before. This has been such a blessing to me because as I struggle with homesickness and stuff, I can turn to my Heavenly Father and my strengthened relationship with Him.
The Lord is in the details of our lives. He is EVERYWHERE! He is in the phone call you receive from a friend that you needed to hear from. He is in the parking spot in the front of the lot after a long and tiring day. He is in the callings you receive in church. No matter where you look, He is there, and it's because He sincerely cares about you.
He cries with you. He laughs with you. He aches with you. He rejoices with you. He suffers with you. He smiles with you.
Even when you feel alone, and I promise you will feel like it at times, you are never alone. Because He is always there.

Life is an uphill battle

I spent this past weekend in Bear Lake for a family reunion. It was so much fun and it was so great to see family and spend time with them! Family is so important and special to me and I am so grateful I got to spend time with all of them. 

So, one day while I was there, one of my cousins and I went on a run. The cabin we were staying at was on the mountains and we decided to run up the mountain. To be honest, I thought I was going to die. Running, though I love it, isn't a strength of mine, and then to be running all uphill made it even harder. I seriously thought I was going to die. When we conquered one hill, we would reach the top only to see that there was another hill we had to climb. 

This made me think about something in life. Our life is an uphill climb. We are constantly climbing mountains of different sizes in our lives. Struggles, doubts, sickness, and trials are all a part of these "mountains" in our lives. 

There are going to be times through our journey where we may feel like we might die. We might want to give up or climb back down because it is too hard. But we need to endure and keep pushing onward. The reward will always outweigh the bad. 

Each of us have different mountains in our lives. And each of us are traveling at different paces. Some may be moving slower, and others may be stuck on one huge mountain for a long time. 

Similar to my run, when we reach the top of a mountain, there is always going to be another one ahead. But, another thing I learned from my run, is once you reach the top, you can turn around and see what you just accomplished. You can feel proud of what you just did and nothing can take that away from you. 

This is the same in life. When you go through a trial or struggle and you have made it through, you can look back and see how experiencing that has blessed you. 

And then we keep going. We face our next trial and we repeat the process. And one day, we will make it to the very top and we won't have another mountain to climb, because we will have reached home with our father in Heaven. What a blessing that day will be. 

Life may get hard, the mountains may be long. You may want to give up. Don't! The sweetness we will experience will be worth the pain we have to endure here. 

God is a God of miracles

Mormon 9:19 says: "And if there were miracles wrought then, why has God ceased to be a God of miracles and yet be an unchangeable Being? And behold, I say unto you he changeth not; if so he would cease to be God; and he ceaseth not to be God, and is a God of miracles." 
My family has experienced an incredible miracle the past 7 months. My cousin, Eli, was born on Christmas day this past December weighing 2 pounds 7 ounces. He was supposed to be born in April. It was unknown of what was going to happen, but we all prayed for this little baby and for his parents and had faith that God's will would be apparent to us all. 
Eli suffered more in his first few weeks of life than I have had my entire life. He went through surgeries and treatments and scary things that babies, or anyone for that matter, should ever have to go through. 
Today, I was able to attend his blessing. It was one of the most spiritual experiences I have ever experienced. Looking at little Eli, I knew that he is a direct gift from God to remind us all that God is still a God of miracles. Eli is living proof that there is a God who is ready to bless us and answer our prayers. While Eli was receiving his blessing, I just sobbed because I was reassured that God loves us and He has a plan for each and every one of us. 
Eli has made many people depend on their faith in Heavenly Father for comfort and for answers. Eli is a miracle and he has helped many people strengthen their relationship with the Savior. Miracles strengthen our faith. 
I know that miracles are still performed today, just like they were when Christ was on the earth. 

The House of the Lord

Last night I drove to the Draper temple (my favorite temple!!!) with three amazing people I have met here at BYU. I am so grateful for the temple. It really is a special place and I am so grateful that we have temples on earth. It is the closest thing to heaven on earth. Walking into the sacred building, I can just feel all of the stress from life vanish and all that matters is the work I am doing.
I was so overwhelmed with the Spirit. I couldn't help but cry when I walked into the baptistry and just sat and thought about my Savior, Jesus Christ. While I was sitting, I looked at the paintings around and there was one that caught my eye. It was a picture of Christ surrounded by white sheep and he was holding a black lamb.
One thing I have learned at college is that there are times where you feel alone, but you are never ever forgotten. Christ is always with you. I have felt like that little black lamb before: alone, different. That doesn't matter to Christ. He will always stand by us no matter what our circumstance. He does it because He loves us.

This time at the temple was a different experience for me because I have always been confirmed and baptized by the temple workers, but the young man that went with me performed these ordinances. I had never had that experience before. It made me even more grateful for the priesthood and even more importantly, worthy priesthood holders. I look up to young men who honor their priesthood so much and I treasure their examples in my life.
The temple is such a special place for me. I try to go once a week so I can be edified by the wonderful Spirit that is felt there. It is my one on one time with my Savior. I am so grateful for the holy house of the Lord and that I am able to attend. I can not wait until I can be sealed to the love of my life in the temple.
I am especially grateful to be here in Provo, where the temple is just down the road and I am able to walk to the temple. I wasn't ever able to do that back home. I love walking around campus and always being able to see the steeple and Angel Moroni. Elder Holland said, "I testify that angels are still sent to help us." Angel Moroni is a symbol for me to come unto Christ and remember Him at all times. Seeing him all the time keeps Christ on my mind at all times. I am eternally grateful for all my Savior has done for me and that I am able to go into Heavenly Father's home and feel His love for me.
"As long as you can see the temple, you are never lost."

It's Not a Requirement

           For my writing class we were assigned to write an opinion editorial on something we have a strong opinion about. We had a one on one meeting with our professor about our paper, and my professor actually gave me the idea to post my opinion editorial on a blog for it to be read. Little did he know I actually do have a blog and  his idea was brilliant! So, this is my paper for my writing class, that I want to share with all y'all. (PS: Life here at BYU is great & I love it more and more every single day!)

           A father of a 20-year-old wrote a blog post about one Sunday at a sister missionary’s farewell, that his daughter was asked many times when she is serving, though she hadn’t received the prompting to serve. The father wrote about how he could tell she felt uncomfortable and that he felt the judgment that she was receiving. He expresses his concerns for all young women who don’t serve a mission; will they be thought of as not worthy to serve a mission, will boys not want to marry them, are some girls just going on a mission because it’s the “cool” thing to do?     

Being an almost 19-year-old LDS girl, I wouldn’t be able to tell you how many times I have been asked, “When are you going on a mission?” Not if I am going on a mission, but when. In 2012, President Monson delivered the news about the missionary age change. Young men, who previously left at 19, can now leave at the age of 18, and young women, who previously left at 21, now can leave at 19. With this age requirement lowered, it has become more common that young women serve missions, which has placed social pressure on 19-year-old girls of the church.

            First things first, I am not saying that going on a mission is a bad thing. I think it’s awesome that girls have the opportunity to serve. I have had aunts, ward members, and friends serve missions, and I have only heard positive things. I have a personal testimony of missionary work and how important it is. I am not in anyway trying to say that girls shouldn’t serve missions. I’m saying just the opposite - girls who feel that they should serve definitely should. That is the way it has always been and that is the way it always will be.

            However, with the age lowering, so many more young women have been deciding to serve that there is now added pressure for all young women to serve. President Monson said, "We affirm that missionary work is a priesthood duty—and we encourage all young men who are worthy and who are physically able and mentally capable, to respond to the call to serve. Many young women also serve, but they are not under the same mandate to serve as are the young men. We assure the young sisters of the Church, however, that they make a valuable contribution as missionaries, and we welcome their service."  The prophet of the church, the one who received the revelation to lower the age requirement, said very clearly that young women are not required to serve a mission.

The flood of missionaries, especially sister missionaries, is so exciting. How rapidly the good news is spreading is exhilarating. I think it is wonderful that sisters choose to serve a mission. They are wonderful examples to me. I strive to be as faithful as the young women I know who have served a mission and hearing their stories has strengthened my testimony. Other sisters in the church that are wonderful mothers and sisters who haven’t served missions are just as good of an example and have just as strong of a testimony. I look up to them and they have affected my life just as those who have served missions.

One of my friends told me that at her high school, boys are now saying that they aren’t going to marry a woman unless she is a return missionary. This standard is a bit ridiculous considering the fact that girls aren’t required to serve a mission. Girls need to pray and fast to receive their answer on whether or not they are supposed to serve. Nothing should influence a girl’s decision except for inspiration received from Heavenly Father.

I have felt the judgment of others when I say I am not planning on going on a mission. I have felt almost expected to go on a mission. Sometimes I even feel like I am letting people down because I’m not planning on a mission, and it’s all due to the pressure and judgement that is being placed on us young women. Family members always ask me when I am planning on putting my mission papers in and I feel like I am upsetting them when I say that a mission isn’t in my plan as of right now.

I have spoken to some of my roommates and friends about this subject, and they all agree that there is so much pressure. Some of them are planning on serving a mission, but even though they have chosen to serve, they agree and say they can see the pressure that is so prevalent. The age change should not have caused this social shift.

The pressure on young women needs to stop because it is a problem. Everyone needs to remember what President Monson said: that young women are welcome to serve, but it is not a responsibility for them.

God has a plan for each and every one of us. Some girls are meant to go on a mission and others aren’t. Others are called to get married and start a family, while others are called to serve. Is the young woman who chooses eternal marriage and motherhood instead of first taking the option to serve a full-time mission any less servable to in the kingdom of God? Either way, the kingdom of God is growing and people are being blessed.

A girl who isn’t planning on serving a mission shouldn’t feel less about herself or feel looked down upon. Serving a mission doesn’t establish if you are a good person or not. What you do in this life and how you follow God’s plan for you shows Him how faithful you are. Serving a mission isn’t required of you. You have a choice. Let Heavenly Father guide you.

Happy, bright, and you

I want to focus this blog post on the title of my blog: Be happy. Be bright. Be you.
1. Be happy.
Life is too short to be anything but happy! If something isn't making you happy, remove it from your life! Surround yourself with things and people that make you happy.
Of course there are going to be hard days and sad times, and it's okay to be sad and to cry. But through these times, look around and find the happy things in life. They are there! You just have to take a step back and look!
In the end, it's up to you to choose happiness. No one can force it on you. If you have a negative attitude about life, then you won't be happy. And no one can help you.
I was in a funk for a while, just feeling so down and I never wanted to do anything or see anyone. I realized what my problem was and I knew unless I fixed it, I would be like that forever. I didn't want to be gloomy and depressed any longer than I was! I removed the negative stuff out of my life and I have become much happier! I am still working on being completely cured of this negativity but my progress is one of the many things that makes me happy each day.
Do what makes you happy. Surround yourself with people that make you happy. Be in a place that makes you happy. If it's not, change it!
2. Be bright.
Each and every one of us has a light. We must not dim our light. Share it with those around you. Someone specifically needs you in their life. You have what they need. Don't be afraid! You never know the affect you could have on someone.
Your light is unique to you. Everyone's is different. It is made up of your divine qualities and talents.
Stand out among the crowd. You weren't born to be the same as everyone else. Don't be afraid to let your light be seen. It's needed in the world.
I was once commented on why I have a light about me. That was one of the biggest compliments I have ever received. I knew then that I wasn't putting out my light, but my light truly was showing and it was showing bright. And from then on, I chose to live that way so everyone around me could see my light.
I challenge the same to you. Don't dim your light. Shine!
3. Be you.
You were made to be exactly who you are. God made you and God doesn't make mistakes.
You can't go through life pretending to be someone else. Embrace the person you are no matter what people think about you. God's opinion is the only opinion that is important, and His opinion of you should be your opinion of yourself.
I have struggled with this, struggled with loving myself. But I know from personal experience that you will not find happiness, nor will your light shine, if you don't love you.
You are not here randomly or by change; you are here for a reason and you are who you are for a reason. Don't forget that.
Each and every one of us is a child of God. A child of the creator! How cool is that? He created the earth, the stars, the moon, and He also created us. We are creations of Him. We are literally His children. When you understand that, you need to treat yourself as such.
Wise words from Dr. Suess: "Today yo are you! That is truer than true! There is no one alive who is you-er than you!" You are special. No one else could replace you. Don't be someone else. Love yourself. Be YOU!